A shameful realization dawned upon me this week. I did not know EDSA history. People started hanging yellow ribbons the day a great woman leader died. In an instant, yellow fever plagued the country. I was nonchalant. Not even bothering to have a peek on the TV to see the news. I was busy beating the deadline for a school assignment. All over the country, everything is about Cory. Everyone tweeted her, everyone facebooked her, everyone blogged about her. Last Monday, thousands of people raised yellow flags, showered yellow confetti, wore yellow clothes, all to pay tribute for a great woman they say as the Mother of Philippine Democracy. I was nonchalant. I was too busy preparing for a two-day activity on vermicomposting. Not even bothering to lift the pages of the PDI across my table that has changed its usual blue heading into yellow. I am amused more than sympathetic. So amused that I had to put a status on my YM that said “yellow fever all over the country”. Not that I understand why it is as such, but rather wondering why it is as such. It’s amusement and sarcasm at the same time. When Cory started dying and people started praying fervently to their gods that her life be extended or she be spared from further pain, I was fervently praying for a longer patience at work.

I did not know EDSA history. And the reality belittled me. As I was watching some of the scenes during Cory’s funeral and saw the Filipinos in fervor, chanting Cory’s name, thanking her, adoring her, I started understanding the yellow plague. Cory Aquino was indeed a somebody, a somebody worth dying for, a somebody worthy of the outpouring admiration from people from all walks of life. The President of East Timor waited for 7 hours at the Memorial Park to bid his final farewell to a friend. That for me is humility, one virtue the President claims he acquired from Cory.

In 1986 at 5 years old, I was too young to be bothered by revolutions, insurgencies and uprisings. Pathetic excuse i just realized. It was shameful that i didn’t even know what the L sign means. A classmate who claimed he had made Cory smiled twice during her presidency needed to tell me that L stands for Laban. All because i didn’t know EDSA history.

Last Tuesday, I got hold of a 1986 issue of The Philippine Star which featured the then-President Cory Aquino’s speech in the US State Congress. My landlady has kept it in her magazine rack for 23 years! She was one of those thousands of people in EDSA on that fateful day in 1986. “Patay kung patay!” she said were the words coming from the mouths of Filipinos who came out into the streets armed with nothing but bruised hearts and wounded souls. Hungry for democracy, angry at oppression. I was so ecstatic as i held a piece of history in its tattered and torn out form. Cory’ speech was said to have set the House on fire as the members of the Senate and the house of Representatives “applauded lustily 13 times, with two prolonged standing ovations”. This and all other clippings from the EDSA Revolution, first hand accounts from my landlady Ate Ai, and the information from the world wide web, made me no longer ignoramus of this historical event. But of course, there are still more to know and to learn. I told a college-mate who commented my post in FB about Cory’s greatness this: “siempre we were too young to understand EDSA Revo then. but it aint an excuse. coz as they said, younger generations need to know the country’s history so they can help in solving the country’s problems. natamaan ako dun, wapaak!” hehe. I got that line when researching for what the abbreviation ATOM stands for. It’s August Twenty One Movement! (*grins).

On a lighter note, in addition to the songs written and sung for Cory, i am also dedicating a song for her. It is Coldplay’s Yellow. The lyrics are perfect for the country’s star that has shone upon us even at her death.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I’ve done
And it was all yellow

I already heard a lot of stories during my entire years of existence - stories that made me laugh and stories that made me cry. but nothing would beat the story i heard just a year ago from my father while exchanging jokes and anecdotes over lunch. it is one story that made me cry and laugh at the same time. it is the story of my mother giving birth to me on the early dawn of july 26, twenty-eight years ago.

according to pap, mamang started to labor past midnight. but because she doesn’t want to go to the hospital, she stayed at home instead. before 3:00 am, papang went out to fetch the friendly-neighborhood komadrona. but even before they arrive, i was already saying hello to the world! the komadrona had to only cut my umbilical cord and clean me up.

pap said that mam did not feel a lot of pain giving birth to me. she even said “ansarap umere”. you see, she seemed just blown a big fart, came out baby me and breathed a sigh of relief…

ayon, i was joking my siblings that “inutot lang pala ako ni mamang”. hehe.

me and pap; in fairness, mataba ako nung baby pa, hehe.

if mamang is alive, i would be hearing this story straight from her. and today, i would ask her to tell me that story again. on how she had blown a big fart, came out baby me and breathed a sigh of relief…

okay, okay, no tears today! it’s my birthday, ahehe

bulilit, bulilit

btw, along with this story is my question to papang “saan galing pangalan ko?” He just shrugged his shoulders and offered the best answer he could think of - from a milk’s brand name which was famous back then! Not that i didn’t know that. But recently, i stumbled upon a Nora Aunors’ movie entitled BONA; incidentally, that film was released in 1981, the year i was born. Hmm, so there goes the inspiration for my name, huh. Maybe that movie made mamang cried a bucket of tears that is why she named me after its protagonist. but ahm… i think id rather be associated with a milk than with ms. nora aunor, ahehe. id rather live with the tagline “batang may laban” than with “walang himala!”. lol.

Happy 53rd birthday to my Pap today!!!

Sana humaba pa buhay mo pang, as in, yung makita mo pa mga apo mo sa tuhod (harhar, apo nga wala pa, toink. let’s just pray na matuloy na ung ke wendy at arkhe, hehe). We yab yu. Salamat sa lahat.

from ABCDE Hilarious

see his Bday celebrationlast year (ansaya nun!)

Since i wrote that blog on exorcising negativity, the phrase has been my mantra for almost twenty days now and vowed to continue using it until not a single negativity resides my body and soul. In all fairness, i think exorcising the negativity in me was successful in my first three weeks because i am feeling that life has become simpler and lighter Work and school are now easier to manage. Life indeed become friendlier. My negativity is synonymous with worries, stress, whines, hates, dreads, complains; but these words were alien to me for the past twenty days. Not that i became passive during those days but i just learn to let negative things - that i know would drench my soul if i ponder on them - pass through. Thank God.

Because i said in my previous blog that i would write a part two of the things i am thankful for, now here they are :)… (warning: i’ve written mostly about myself here, pardon me if i get too braggish).

• Me as an NGO worker. I am so thankful that fate brought me into this career path. I am particularly proud of my NGO roots (and the people i worked with) which until now kept me grounded and humbled me enough on what a true-blooded community development worker really is. Penetrating the NGO Community in Cotabato City brought a minor culture shock to me. Comparison from my past to present is endless. And this is what i realized: I will never trade the colorful (a lot of rainbows and a lot of black) experiences i gained from my previous NGO works to a four-digit per diem you can spend a lot of pastil (Muslim delicacy) with or to a pajero that can comfortably (minus dust and smoke) bring you to the community. Nothing beats the habal2 (improvised motorcycle that can carry up to 5 passengers) or the rural buses a.k.a sardine cans, harhar.
• Me as a frustrated an artist. Lol. I want to say frustrated since for my 27 years of existence, I have not yet brought into this world any obra maestra that can attest to my claim as an artist. lol. I do claim that i am an artist. If loving colors, envying great artists, trying on arts, hobbies and crafts, flipping through architectural digest and interior design magazines, doodling on papers, frequenting photos/paint exhibits make you an artist, then i am. And oh, if receiving an award as a School Artist and winning poster/slogan making contests in elementary make you An Artist, then yeah, i really am! Lol. I am thankful for this talent, sans obra maestra. I am thankful for my inclination to arts, that i get to appreciate life and this world in different hues!
• Me as a writer. I can write yeah, but not as good as my favorite writers and columnists . But I still thank God i can. A few is gifted with a talent to write. And i prided myself that although there are things i still need to learn in proper writing, i can write my thoughts down, anywhere, anyhow. Oh well, maybe God knows that i am generally shy and will lose in any oral debates, so He gave me the power to write. I kinda more like it, since writings can be immortalized. This blog entry will forever roam the cyberworld if bits and bytes permit One comment on my writing i would never never forget is this: “If i will have to get somebody to write a children’s book, it will be you”. Honestly, i did not understand what she meant, even until now. But i took it as a compliment, nonetheless. Hehe.
• Me as a student. Not all people are given the chance to go back to school, not even through distance learning. But i am. Through UP’s open university, i get to pursue a Diploma in (drum rolls…) Environment and Natural Resources Management. Hehe. I do not dream to replace Secretary Atienza, not ever. But i do dream to have a share in saving our Mother Earth. And i thought that by enrolling in this course will be the first step to realizing that dream. Thank God that I have managed to get over four hurdles este subjects and still have four to go. I hope that by then, i have already started a campaign that has helped in reducing the carbon emissions that contribute to global warming. Or something like that. Because global warming is a global problem that needs global actions, my contributions would be just a speck in the universe. But i say, at least. Our planet earth has other alarming issues aside from Global Warming, what else do you know? What are you doing aside from sitting on your butt and complaining how hot the climate is or how dirty your surrounding is? What??!! (…and the campaign has started).
• Me being me. There is so much to be thankful to God for making me into who i am now. I am farrrrrrrr from perfect, but i am no nobody. It once entered my mind that i have a mild condition of schizophrenia, with a split personality disorder that is. But of course, i am just trying to be cute (not that schizophreniacs are cute) and scientific. Anyway I am trying to say is that despite the unstable personality that i believe i have, majority of the people in my circle still love me or like me. Ahehe. After all, i am a nice person. Thank God

Admittingly, exorcising the negativities in me is so hard to sustain. Especially that for everyday in my life at the moment, i have to endure pesky colleagues, and damn office systems. But still, I am thankful that i have been trying…

Now, close your eyes and inhale positivity (for whatever that means hehe).

From now on, i will be writing here only the good things. Rants and whines and negativities do not deserve a space here in my blog anymore. I used to believe that i am a positive person and that i always see the good sides in every situation. But having reflected on my attitude after reading an ex-colleague’s/friends blog, i concluded that i am after all, a negative person.

I always complain about school and work. I always complain that i have truckloads of assignments and quizzes which after all is always my fault why they piled into truckloads when in fact, right at the beginning of the semester, the questions are already given to us. And that every night of my life, i only stared at the sets of questions and crammed one hour before deadlines.

I always complain about work and some of the people i work with. When in fact i should be thankful that i am meeting a lot of people each day, earning friends, learning new experiences. No matter how irritating people are, i should be thankful that i am learning from them, learning to lengthen my patience, that is.

So for this entry, i will write things that i am thankful for everyday of my life (it ain’t original i know but still want to do it, hehe

• Best. he is the ever-patient, ever-loving, ever-always-there boyfriend- bestfriend. For nine years, he never left my side despite shooing him away many times. Maybe God has answered an innocent prayer from ten years ago.
• The Hilarious. we lose our mom ten years ago, we quarreled, we shouted at each other, my family is far from perfect. but thank God for them. We will always be hilarious, lovin’ life, sharing jokes over dinner, arguing over trivial facts, fighting over a videoke mic.. (and the list of good things goes on…).
• Magic 12. my best girlfriends. fourteen years of friendship and counting. Some i know since elementary and kinder. we do not see each other often anymore - careers, husbands and kids “prohibit” us from doing so - but in our hearts, we are always the same high school girls who love to giggle, laugh our hearts out, share secrets, play shatong at school.
• Arfs. magic’s best boy-friends. with them, we lose our innocence, in a good sense. they showed us a wider world, the reality of life. we did not need join frats to share brotherhood/sisterhood. boys will always be boys. but us to them, they can make exceptions.

(continued…at andami ko pala tlgang bagay na ipinagpasalamat at kelangang two entries hehe)

today is my third monthsary, my third month of being in a new world here in Cotabato City. Yeheey, congratz to me. i was able to get through three months of a totally new environment. When i say new, it means…

- staying in a boarding house…

(first time in my 27 years! i studied until college in my hometown so there was no chance to board and i stayed in a staffhouse during my past works, 2 - butuan city, 2 - davao city, 1 - san franz, and these were entirely for free! water, electric, gasul…
- having to commute to and fro work EVERYDAY…and having to inhale all the dust and smoke from jeepneys…

(urgh. our offices in my past works were just beside our staffhouse, or sometimes we live in an office cum staffhouse, so grabeng tipid sa fare, you can save your coins in a piggybank, u can never be late pa).

- having to write in a logbook in and out of the office (8am-in, 5pm-out)…

(i think it is a government style and i never thought some NGOs also has this system - like my present office do. duh, for a takaw-tulog person like me, it is such a punishment to wake up at 6.30 am para hindi ma-late, waaah).

- having an office that has no speakers in the personal computers!!!

(waaahaha, when i first came in the project, the silence of the office was the first thing i noticed… you can only hear the rustles of the paper being printed, the footsteps of the staff scurrying around, but there was no music, hahaha.. i thought our office was so dull, there were no tv, no radio, ewan, hindi lng ako nasanay. What i did was brought my own headset, beh).

- eating alone during dinner…

- for me, this is the saddest part. since i don’t cook and only eats in a carenderia, i eat alone. my housemates whom are also NGO workers sleep early or come home late so we cannot join each other for dinner. But mostly, i brought my food in the boarding house so i can chat with my landlady while eating, hehe).

- being cautious and vigilant when i am in town…

(no need for explanation. i am here in cotabato city, where street crimes are normal rampant and snatching/hold-ups happen to your immediate friends, yay, scared. So, when i have to buy groceries, i have to get out at 5pm para hindi ako magabihan sa daan… kainis tuloy, i can’t stay longer at McDo and chill at their veranda dahil takot mahold-up, aysus palayo!).

- having to work with City Government partners…

(i hope they won’t read this hahaha. working with personnel from the city govt is such a sakit ng ulo. it delays our work, our deliverables. You can’t decide solely unless it is agreed/disagreed by them. we coordinate with them regularly because the project is a partnership - nakakalokang partnership. they are too busy with their own job description at the city government and most of the time ay nakakaligtaan nila ang responsibility nila with the project. hello? may duration po ang project at pati kami at hindi kagaya sa gobyerno that you can stay in your office forever until retirement, puhleeze).

- working in an office that has the strictest standards and systems of all…

(sometimes i can’t see the logic, say in a system…but my supervisor says, of course you can’t see because there is none. hahaha, that explains all).

- being far from my Best (hehe siningit…)

(uu, kc with the two previous projects/works i had, mgksama kmi ni best - mga 3 years din un when we used to see each other 24/7, so i had a hard time getting him out of my system when i got this job, whew, that’s life…should work uy).

Now i wonder, will i still be here for another three months? If i would, i wonder what made me stay (hahaha) and if i don’t, tsk, tsk, kawawa naman si ma’am estela, my supervisor, at maiiwan siyang nagtityaga sa project at sa mga partners… Don’t get me wrong, i have a big heart for our project since i am a self-proclaimed environmentalist. and i believe na malaki ang significance ng project sa problema sa basura ng Cotabato City. Sigh, it’s just that some of the brains of our stakeholders are filled with basura na rin. Nangangaamoy na sila sa baho. eeow.

I promised myself that i would start blogging for extra income when our project ends in October 2008. But since i got a new job in November (which was fortunate of me), i forgot all about blogging. My world started to spin around another B - basura. But since i get to read my childhood friends’ blogs, who do blog for income, i get envious. So here goes the itch again, yay.  Once again started to promise myself to really start blogging this January. Funny, because i already listed all the things (internet bills, boarding house…) that i would pay for from my blogging income. haha, counting the chicks from unhatched eggs. Also, i already listed possible names for my site and thought of a concept. Since it would be my first dotcom, my own domain name, i wanted it to be special (sans the hosting fees of course).  Oh ha, best laid plans.

But after ate Lyn and Carol gave me some tips on how to actually start blogging for income, i came to realize as i sit infront of my pc that i am too lazy to write. Huhhumm… With my work that would drain the hell out of you, i would rather lie down in bed, stare at my monitor or change my friendster layout. So now i wonder how can i sustain my site if that would be my attitude. The advertisers might not pay me for a lousy job. Waha. But swear, i still wanna blog to to earn. Maybe i just need to start (buy a domain name i guess), then eventually, i’ll get used to it - the actual writing, blog hopping, looking for ads (what do you call those?), exchanging links (repeat until fade…). Shucks, i still have a lot to learn with the blog lingo. Whew.

I envy carol and ate lyn since they can write for up to three or more blog entry a day. very prolific bloggers, huh. i wonder how much they earn a day, hehe. And my kuya too, he can manage to blog almost everyday, even after an exhausting day’s work. Well i guess i should get rid of the takaw-tulog me and the mañana habit indulgence and get my butt to start blogging for a cause (my own cause…).

Once upon a time, there were four little children, two boys and two girls. Every Christmas time, they make musical instruments out of softdrink caps (tansan) that they patiently flatten, poke a hole in the center and arrange in a loop wire. Sometimes, if resources permit, they use block of woods where to nail the flattened caps.

Written in the instruments were the acronym: ARBOMACA group, and etched in their faces were the excitement of a newly-formed caroling group. As dusks came, they start to roam around Purok Bukang Liwayway streets reaching as far as Purok Masagana and Saranay, knocking at every houses, singing their hearts out. They were oblivious of the crazy dogs howling at them and the irritated house owners. All they wanted was to share the spirit of christmas through the christmas songs they memorized earlier, of course, in exchange of meager coins that they fairly share with each other.

They were a fun bunch of carolers, planning the sequence of the song they sing, cheerfully singing even out of tones. They were also creative. Why, where can you find kids-carolers who light up sparklers and triangle firecrackers after every set of songs? That to the delight of the house owners giving them more than they expect.

One time, when they passed by the police station, they thought to themselves, “Hmm, even tough men like police, enjoys christmas carols”. So they tried their luck, and then little cheerful voices filled the air. The police might have pleased with the short entertainment that he gave them a crisp bill of P20.00. Fifteen years ago, that was already a big amount.

Fifteen years later, the caroling group has long been disbanded. The four little children parted ways living their own lives, some already started a family and raising kids of their own. But the memories remain. The flattened tansan, the sparklers, the silent nights they filled with their voices, the delighted policeman, the barking dogs…

Fifteen years later, here they are: the ARBOMACA Group!

AR (khe)

BO (na)

MA (coy)

CA (rol)

And this is their Christmas story.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Enjoy your christmas stories

it’s been a while…

i was kinda busy these past weeks (will be in the next weeks).

so busy that i cannot even bother to open my emails,

friendster, fave blogs, ym, myportal, facebook, multiply…

i have a new job.

a job that stinks.

yeah, literally.

i am now involved in a project on solid waste management.

so yeah, that stinks.

no, the solid wastes.

whatever.

will update next time.

keep on rocking

(yay, iv written this a month ago, di ko pala na-post!)

We can identify 1,000 corporate logos…

but fewer than a dozen plants and animals native to our home places.

think.

David W. Orr

Professor of Environmental Studies
and Politics

Every year on september, this line from a song goes over and over again my mind. LSS for the whole month of September. But this time, the line is more significant to me. September 2008 is a period of “the ends” for me.

I have a dreaded final exams on the 27th, i have a deadliest deadline of our project’s terminal report and attachments on the 25th.

By then, when September ends, i will be the happiest person because i have (fingers crossed) managed to get through my finals and my report.

Yet, i am not totally happy. When September ends, i will be jobless. Lol. Our project ends, so our contract follows. Welcome to the NGO world.

But hey, i am happy .I will be welcoming a new environment (again). I wonder what my next job would be? I love NGO challenges but the corporate world and that of the government’s hell magnetize me. That would entiiiirely be new to me. Eeny meeny minee moo.

And hey, i am happy For pete’s sake, I’ve been whining on the stressful and costly eight-hour travel from SF to home and vice versa. SF shuts me in a world of fewer opportunities, where social life only means friendster. Hey, i am free! (I remember my previous blog three years ago… I always feel caged and happy to be free, urgh.)

Yes, i am happy And i am excited when September ends, without a job and all.

i missed the cast of LOST - antagal pa ng Season Five, sa January 2009 pa raw. Babalik kaya sina Jack at Kate sa island? Bakit nadead si John Locke? waah. Andami kong katanungan. I am lost!

Excited na ako sa pagbabalik ng Prison Break. Yehey, Dr. Sarah Tancredi will  resurrect! Kilig-kilig na nman with Michael, haha.

Simulan ko kaya ang Gossip Girl? Un uso ngaun eh. Ay baka after watching, i might also be wearing those big headbands na pinauso ng series na ito, wahaha. Yaiks.

I like Rihanna’s "Take a Bow" . The lyrics are cool. And in telligent. Hehe. Gusto ko na si Rihanna haha. I thought after Umbrella ay maglalaos na sya.

Sana pwede ako umattend sa Mindanao Media Summit. Eh pano, wala nman akong access dun. Hindi nman ako media, la rin ako friend sa Asia Foundation na nagsponsor ng activity. Pag-uusapan rw dun ang MOA. Wow, interesado ako, as if may magagawa ako.

Ano kaya mangyayari sa FlyFF Grand EB? Yaiks, ako yata pinakamatandang mag-aatend dun, haha. Bka puro lalaki at puro batang babae ang dadalo, haha. Batang-isip kc. ^^